Tips for Marriage

What is  a bad relationship? This is a difficult question to answer because one persons perception of a relationship may be totally different than another. What is acceptable to one person may not acceptable to another. So, how do you know if this is a bad relationship for you and how do you judge whether to stay or go?

There are some things that don’t require much thought as to whether it’s good or bad  such as any type of abuse. Then again, I’ve seen people who think it’s okay for their spouse or partner to berate them and don’t consider this abuse, but it is verbal abuse.

Believe it or not people put up with all sorts of things and don’t consider themselves to be in a bad relationship. Much of this is due to how they were raised and the relationship between their parents. So, they end up in a similar relationships throughout life.

Sometimes this can be good and other times bad. If you were raised with abuse in the family then many times you will choose an abusive spouse because that’s what you’re used to and it feels normal. You also crave the drama which feeds relationship addiction.

That’s right, most bad relationships are an addiction to people who are just as messed up as they are or worse. This is also known as codependency and can last a lifetime.

This is why they keep choosing the same type of person. They may look different and have different names, but on the inside, where it counts, they are the same. If this describes your relationships one after the other, then seek help through self help books, therapy or Codependents Anonymous, so that you can change this destructive pattern.

The only way to fix bad relationships is to fix yourself first. I know everyone likes to throw the blame, but that simply does not work. If your spouse/partner has no intentions of changing move on and focus on other interests such as career, hobbies, friends etc.

It’s better to be alone than to stay in a bad relationship. After all, while you’re fooling around with them you’re not available for a good relationship because you’re stuck in that one. Don’t do it! It’s a waste of time, life and energy, so let it go.

Oh, BTW, you can’t change them either the only person you can change is yourself. So, get busy with you and once again for emphasis I say let it go!!