Tips for Marriage

Did you know that all jealousy isn’t bad or wrong? And that it’s natural for a spouse to feel protective or possessive of those they love to a certain degree. Healthy jealousy can encourage couples to appreciate one another and make them feel valuable. However, jealousy can also be unhealthy and this is the kind we hear about the most. This type of jealousy can be destructive and is based on fear; fear of losing their partner. They feel threatened by their interaction with other people and sometimes even a job, pets or most anything can trigger an unexpected reaction.

The first thing you want to do is get your partner to open up and tell you what they’re jealous of and why, then reassure them that their fears are unfounded. Dig around a bit and see if they’ve had someone cheat on them in the past and if this is true they may still have feelings of insecurity from that experience.  Assure them that you love them and establish some guidelines of behavior as to what is acceptable in the relationship in regards to thoughts or actions that trigger jealousy. By communicating your feelings you may be able to work out a solution.

Now, let’s look at some effects jealousy can have in the relationship if a solution can’t be reached. When Jealousy has gone too far it can make you feel worthless, overwhelmed and frustrated. You will want to push your partner away and a loss of respect is imminent due to all the lies and accusations that are being thrown back and forth. Both of you will threaten and feel threatened creating an atmosphere of chaos where nothing feels right or normal, confusion takes over and reality will no longer exist.

No doubt, jealousy can destroy a relationship if you let it. The key is to not allow jealousy to get out of control, nip it in the bud. If your spouse becomes loud, argumentative, aggressive and is incapable of discussing the problem in a rational manner then you need to seek professional help asap. If they are unwilling to do this then you may want to consider a separation, let them know you mean business and that you will not tolerate abusive behavior. This may sound extreme, but jealousy can escalate into violence and it’s better to be safe than sorry.

In conclusion,  if you feel that jealousy is a problem it most likely is and you need to take action to resolve it before it does permanent damage to the relationship . After all, the future of your marriage is at stake and there’s no time like the present to do something about it.