Intimacy in marriage is not just about having good sex. Intimacy is when a couple shares thoughts, opinions and feelings with one another. True marital intimacy involves being honest and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. In other words, you need to trust your partner, risk the unknown and reveal the real you.

True intimacy can be scary, especially if you’ve had a bad past experience. It may take time to heal from the emotional pain you went through. If this is the case you should inform your partner so that you can work on it together, preferably before you marry.

In order to establish or maintain intimacy you need to let go of your fears, forgive and forget past hurts, handle disagreements/conflicts, improve communication and know when to seek counsel. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it.

Now you know what you need to do long term, however, for those of you who want to start right now, today, here’s 5 tips to get you going:

* Plan a date night. Spend this time focused on each other.
* Affirm your partner daily by telling them only positive things about themselves.
* Don’t say- You should, you must, you’re too whatever, you never, you always.
* When in conflict ask each other,” What would be best for both of us?”
* Show respect and validate one another; listen, don’t criticize feelings or thoughts.

For these 5 marriage tips to work you must take action, don’t just read them, do them. And why not throw in a kiss or two and the kisses could lead to…